I Didn't Want a Blog

I didn't want a blog (blog, short for weblog, which is Latin for "my Saturday nights are usually free"). I wanted to be a humor columnist. This is nothing against blogging, but working the software industry I generally associate them with the sort of "online journals" (journal - male for "diary") that some companies actually encourage their employees to keep. I actually think this is cool, but it isn't what I was trying to do. I was trying to be some sort of composite of the humor columnists that I grew up reading - who incidentally are all retired or dead. I guess I figured there was an opening.

One big difference between a blogger and a humor columnists is that humor columnists get paid, which I thought was a pretty good goal for the future, because I like money. Well, it isn't really that I like money, so much as that I like guitars and digital gadgets, and money is the preferred method of acquiring these. So for a while I wrote a column somewhere that nobody I didn't give a link would ever find it, and referred to myself as an Internet humor columnist - which is loosely defined as a somebody who is too chicken to go tell jokes at an open mic night, but hopes that somebody might pay him to write someday. A friend pointed out that what I was doing was a blog, and it would be easier to do it at a proper blogging site because the software is better suited to the what I am actually doing.

So here goes... hopefully they will get better as time goes on. If you actually think anything is funny, please tell me. If you don't think so, I want to hear that too (I'm expecting more in this category). If you want to sell me any sort of pill that will affect the size of my toe, this isn't even my email address (Note: when I use bold, italics, and underline together, that sometimes means that isn't the "real" word, that is a "television edit" - picture it in a different voice, like on TBS)

So, here is tonight's worthless observation:

I believe Van Halen is the greatest American rock band ever. Want to argue about it? I don't, that's why I prefaced it with I believe. It is art, you can believe anything you like about it, but this is what I believe.

Tonight, David Lee Roth was on The Tonight Show singing a bluegrass version of Jump. Normally right here I would put a funny definition of "bluegrass" in parenthesis, but I sorta used up tonight's good stuff on the introduction. Its late, I'm tired, and that "Oh the humanity!!" thing from when the Hindenberg crashed keeps playing in my head.

There is a song by the band Drive By Truckers (who are cool by the way, try them out), where the lyric mentions the fact that "the secret to a good ending is knowing when to roll the credits". I am not certain where "the right spot to roll the credits" was, but Diamond Dave missed it. I'm really sure of one thing, "the right spot to roll the credits" occurred several years before I ever saw a bluegrass cover of a Van Halen song.