Hey, you could probably buy my vote

Ok, maybe not buy it, but you could get me to vote for you. Just run on an issue that's important to me.

But Bill, you say, I thought you were and imaginary alter-ego and therefore avoided all issues of politics and religion? Well that's true, unless I think it might be funny. And there is no shortage of funny issues regarding politics and religion. Maybe someday I'll create another alter-ego that doesn't pull any punches, talks about politics and nut-jobs and gets upset and swears... but not right now.

So you want me to vote for you? Here's what you do:

1. Promise that during your time in office that most popular media outlets will not play anything from the Lynyrd Skynyrd catalog. Or any version of the song Hotel California. Or anything by Led Zeppelin. Or any Pink Floyd song recorded after 1973. Nobody ever plays the ones recorded before then anyway.
2. Once again, I thought I needed a list, but actually that's it. Run on the "No more Lynyrd Skynyrd, any version of Hotel California, anything by Led Zeppeln, or any Pink Floyd song recorded after 1973"* platform, and you have Bill Daniels' vote.

* This included playing "Sweet Home Alabama" between plays at professional hockey games, which makes just slightly more sense than whatever the hell the chicken dance** is.

** According to Wikipedia, "It has become a staple dance at weddings and at Oktoberfests." This bascially means that something called the chicken dance is popular at affairs that serve a LOT of beer. I ask, does this even need to be written, or is sort of self-explanatory?

Why Lynyrd Skynyrd? Are they the worst rock band ever? No - I'm sure they're not. In fact, I'm pretty sure that Styx is... I'll write about that another time. Actually I love all of the bands concerned here (except Styx). But frankly if I have to hear the Ballad of Curtis Lowe again, I could go into a homicidal rage. Or I might just learn to avoid classic rock stations. But that latter hasn't happened so far, so I'm a little concerned. Hotel California, Led Zeppelin and Pink Floyd are just along for the ride.

I was really hoping to get another couple of paragraphs out of this, but it looks like it ends right about here.

Interesting Quote Wednesday 9/13/2006

"It Was a Short Summer, Charlie Brown"

--Linus van Pelt

The Darn Chicago Cubs

Keep a couple of things in mind:

1. Bill Daniels is my pseudonym and alter ego. He's nicer than I am, uses nicer language, he's a nice guy.
2. I guess that's it... it seemed like I was going to need a list.

This weekend Bill Daniels and I - who are really the same person - flew from what we put in our profile as "Averagetown, Southeast, USA" to Atlanta, GA to visit my friend who I'll call "Strom". Besides visiting, I did this to see the Chicago Cubs play the Atlanta Braves, a baseball team I hate with every portion of my being. This brought up a number of issues for me:

1. Strom is a huge Braves fan, and a nice guy. He got us free tickets that were so good, I couldn't even manage to crack jokes about the seats being lousy.
2. I like Strom, so I almost felt a little guilty about hating the Braves so much.
3. Even though I have a wife and two children, I went alone.
4. I took an airline that once parked a DC-9 in the everglades. This isn't meant to be funny, just matter of fact. To be fair, they have changed names since then, and hopefully maintenance habits.
5. The only hope the Cubs have this season is a strike that lasts well into the winter months. Where are Gary Bettman and Bob Goodenow when you really need them?

So I went. And the Cubs lost. I got to see Matt Murton's home run, and things looked promising until the bottom of the third inning. Kinda like all those times you blew a 300 game in the second frame, y'know? I'm not nearly as nice as Bill Daniels, so the stream of obscenities, sometimes yelled at the umpire, rarely included the word "Darn". At least Strom got us good enough seats that the umpires may have heard me.

(actually I didn't use obscenities while yelling at the umpire, there were children in front of me. I find yelling at umpires therapeutic, I recommend it)

Interesting Quote Wednesday 9/6/2006

Normally I poke fun at myself for not writing things that are timely. I try to be current, but generally wind up writing things that are neutral at best (like I Love Coffee). Tonight, unfortunately, one doesn't have to think too hard to be current:

"The one thing I would want to be remembered for is passion and enthusiasm. Conservation is my life, my job, my whole persona."
-- Steve Irwin

I liked his show. Seemed like a good guy over all. Did a lot of good stuff for animals, and kids liked him. I'm kinda glad my kids aren't old enough to have watched the show.

Interesting Quote Wednesday 8/30/2006

"I fell asleep at the computer and never found a quote"

-Bill Daniels

Fear not, tomorrow it'll be Wednesday again, and I'll try to be better rested.