If You're a Yankees Fan, Just Don't Read This...

...unless you're going to send the link to all your friends and increase my hits. My ego could use the boost. You were warned.

I try to be positive in life. I'd rather pull for a winner than hope somebody loses. This is how I would like to live my life. But in reality, if the New York Yankees lose, I'm generally pretty happy. And they did just that - again. At least they did it on a budget. That A-Rod guy seems like a bargain at $25 million for ten years.... what's that? Oh, its $25 million per year for ten years. Well, Howard Stern still makes more money, maybe A-Rod will work out. I do think it would be funny if until he comes through in the post season they make him answer to his middle name, Emmanuel.

Yankee fans think that people hate the Yankees because they win so much. Actually not true - we hate Yankee fans... you know who you are... and we do it for the following reasons:

• If you're going to say "we" when you refer to the Yankees, please be ready to tell me when you played for them. If you did, odds are you have the best pickup line in any bar (unless there happens to be an astronaut hanging out (kinda funny to picture them leaning against the bar talking to a girl while wearing the space suit)), but otherwise don't say "we" - because "you" didn't do anything. You didn't even spend Steinbrenner's money (which is another topic altogether).


• The Yankees have won 26 championships. Twenty of them were before I was born, and I don't care about them. You might as well stomp about talking about how many presidencies your political party won since 1789 (or whenever they invented political parties in this country).


• Don't go on about the Red Sox, or the Cubs, or whoever not making the post season. Steinbrenner spent nearly $200 million and won one playoff game. They lost to a team that hasn't seen a league championship series since 1984 managed by a career minor league chain smoker.


• Go ahead and blame Joe Torre - There's a home for you in Chicago, Joe.


• If you live in the Southeast and haven't been to a game in 5 years or more, don't go about acting as though you're super fan. Even with the disparity in coverage, you only have to watch about 12 games a year. But even in the age Fox Sports XXX the Cubs are still on WGN a couple of games a week.

As for me... I'll stay a Cubs fan. Just wait 'til next year - hopefully they aren't "The best team in baseball... on paper" next year. It didn't work out well this year.