Its Over Johnnie

I'm back (picture that Eminem song about "guess whose back" playing in the background while you contemplate the fact that I don't know the name of the song and must not actually like Eminem very much). I've explained before that Bill Daniels is my alter-ego. It turns out my actual ego had a rough couple of weeks and nothing seemed funny. What I'm trying to do here is more of a humor column than a traditional blog, so I tend not to force things when nothing seems funny. If anybody wants to pay me to write for their website/newspaper/[put something ridiculous and funny here] I will be happy to force it. I seem able to in my professional life.

Now on to the title - it will help if I explain a couple of things:

• Dusty Baker's real name is Johnnie
• I like the Opie and Anthony show, and they play the "its over Johnnie" sound clip sometimes
• The sound clip is from the end of First Blood
• In David Morrell's book First Blood Rambo dies, sparing us sequels.
• I think Morrell might have spelled "Johnnie" "Johnny", but I don't care enough to look it up
• I could look it up, I have the paperback I borrowed from my friend Sean just under 20 years ago (Sean - let me know if you want it back)
• I'm too lazy to come up with a name that rhymes with Sean, although sometimes I think it is funny to protect people's identity when it is clearly not necessary
• Even though Rambo died in the first book, David Morrell wrote the first sequel - losing any brownie points he may have gained by killing Rambo in the first book.
• The Chicago Cubs fired Dusty Baker today

I had the thought last week that the only comment I had on baseball season was that I was looking forward to the end - like somebody with a terminal disease. Then I realized that Bill Daniels' sense of humor isn't as dark as mine and decided against it. Boy am I glad I didn't write about that.

But the regular season is over, and the Chicago Cubs, called the "best team in the league - on paper" before the season started, finished a respectable 66-96, getting edged out by Tampa Bay and Kansas city overall, but still clinching the worst record in the National League by one game.

Hockey season starts Wednesday.