Just Haven't Felt Like It

My purpose here is to try to be the modern version of a newspaper humor columnist. This means I hope that I am funny.

I think I did some good work here, but I can't seem to push myself forward, because nothing seems that funny right now. I'm stuck in some kind of mid-30s funk. Not exactly depressed, more like numb - and cynical.

So let's look back at some of the things that happened in 2007, in no particular order. Maybe something will be funny and I'll feel like writing tomorrow:

• The Chicago Cubs made the playoffs. They lost three straight games. It was painful
• Van Halen toured with David Lee Roth for the first time since the Reagan administration. Just to keep things interesting Edward Van Halen's 16 year old son Wolfgang on bass rather than veteran bass player Michael Anthony. The shows were pretty good, and nothing really unusual happened... in 2007
• The Police went on tour for the first time since the Reagan administration. Rather than replace Sting with some body's child they decided to keep the original band intact. I didn't go, I imagine the shows were spectacular. I read Andy Sumner's memoir, "One Train Later". He's very English and wordy
• The war in Iraq sucks. Most people say we should bring our boys home, and will continue to until we do and then will say we should have saw things through
• There is nothing funny here: A little jerk who doesn't deserve to have his name mentioned killed 32 people at Virginia Tech before he committed suicide. It is my sincere wish that the news stop showing these people and calling them by name. They don't deserve it. Also I wish people who are suicidal and don't want help would cut to the chase and not take out people who are just trying to live there life on the way.
• The Carolina Hurricanes, 2006 Stanley Cup Champions, failed to make the playoffs
• Don Imus got fired. He shouldn't have
• Dog the Bounty Hunter got fired. I'm not sure if he should have or not, but his son really sold him out
• I came to the following conclusion: I wish nobody would say the 'N' word. The current rules seem to be that black people can say it and white people can't. I was born after the civil rights movement, and of course over a hundred years after slavery. Horrible things happened. If the rule is that black people can say it and white people can't, I'm OK with that.
• Jane Wyman, one time wife of future president Ronald Reagan, died. Not to make light of her passing, but I had no idea she was alive.
• Evel Knievel died. Its pretty amazing the man was alive. My oldest son is about the age I was when he was huge - it makes me feel old.
• Kevin DuBrow, singer for the 1980s rock band Quiet Riot died of a cocaine overdose.
• Musician and noted family man Ike Turner died of a cocaine overdose.
• Cocaine is bad. This was known in 1987 when Kevin and Ike's combined ages was less than 100. Still true now.
• North Carolina is in a such a drought, people hope that a tropical storm hits. It misses.

OK, that's it. Maybe in the next few days, something will be funny.